Itâ€™s the last day of August and a storm is looming. A major category 4 hurricane is coming our way, and I canâ€™t help but think of the ironic coincidence of a real life and metaphorical storm happening in my life simultaneously.
I remember back when I didnâ€™t have an anchor in anything; I was anxious about everything. My very being was never at peace because it would sway with what was happening around me. I felt like I had to keep everything in control, and when it wasnâ€™t I would feel it in every ounce of my body. I didnâ€™t know any different, and honestly just accepted it as â€œlifeâ€.
Then my life as I knew it turned upside down on April 8, 2019. There were no news reports, no time to prepare, no time to escape danger. I was the happiest I had ever been one minute, then the next minute I heard the words no pregnant mama wants to hear.. â€œIâ€™m sorry there is no heartbeatâ€.
Iâ€™ve learned a lot in the past almost 5 months. Mostly, Iâ€™ve learned the beauty and absolute need of having an anchor in Jesus. In my own power I could never have the strength to face something as catastrophic as child loss. But He is steady and trustworthy and never wavers. I can have complete trust in the midst of complete chaos because I am fully aware of Who is in control. Does that mean everything will turn out good? No. But it does mean that even if not, He is still good. And ultimately He is the only one who knows how our story begins and ends. He is faithful and will carry us through no matter what. Even and especially when it doesnâ€™t make sense.
Iâ€™m at peace because I know that when a storm comes into our lives (and they will!) I wonâ€™t have to worry about the outcome because of who sits on the throne. My hope is anchored in Christ alone. It is well with my soul.
We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.Hebrews 6:19