I woke up the next morning thrust into a life I didn’t want or ask for. The life we had dreamed of for so long was stripped away in a second, and we were forced to navigate a life of parenting a son that lived only in heaven.
Were we still parents? Did this really happen to us? What are we supposed to do now? Will Preston be forgotten? These were all questions we asked ourselves following his birth and simultaneous death.. and questions we even still wonder now.
Coming from 2 people who are super-planners, leaving the hospital without our son was not a part of our plan. Being vulnerable, sharing my grief journey and bearing my wounded soul to the world was not what I would have ever planned for my life. To be referred to as “the girl that lost her baby full-term” is the last label I would ever want to have. But here I am. And I don’t blame you if you have shared my “unimaginable” story with others. In fact, I hope you do. I desperately wish I had heard the word stillborn or late term loss at any point in my pregnancy. In my mind that only happened back in the day. That is what used to happen before all of the modern technology that now exists today. How can this even happen in 2019? I wish I knew the answer. All I know is that I’m now a part of this “rare” occurrence. I’m the 1 in 160, and will never look at a statistic the same way. I may be the girl who’s baby died, but I can promise you this is not where my story ends. My former life ended along with my son, and now an entire new story has begun.