To the lady sitting next to us with the newborn baby boy and Preston’s exact color combo stroller:
I wish that were me. Actually, I wish we were both sitting here with our newborn baby boys and matching strollers, as we flash a quick smile at each other with the same “I understand what you’re going through†look. It was so very close to being that way- but sadly it’s not. In fact, it’s taking everything for me to not run out of here hysterically sobbing. Not because I’m not happy for you.. I’m just sad for me.Â
I hope you don’t take a single moment for granted. I hope you appreciate the hard moments, knowing that there are others who would give anything to trade places with you.
I do feel that deep in my soul that will be me one day. And I hope when that time comes that someone doesn’t look at me with the same sadness that I feel now. Because the truth is, I don’t know what it took for you to get where you are. Maybe that precious newborn you’re holding was a rainbow baby of your own. Maybe you adopted him, or finally got your answered prayer after years of infertility, or maybe not.. maybe you weren’t even planning or expecting him at all. Either way I pray you know that you are holding a miracle.Â
I should be holding mine too, but instead he is in the arms of Jesus. And while I am grateful for that, my heart & arms will always yearn for him here. Some days are just harder than others.. .
Sincerely,Â
A grieving mama
