Yesterday was nothing like I planned. I initially wanted to sleep through the day, but I’m glad I didn’t. For the first few days after Preston passed I couldn’t bear to open my eyes because I knew that would mean I would have to face my new reality. But as much as I wish it weren’t, this IS my reality. Life will never ever EVER be the same. I will forever look at life differently than I did before. But I refuse for it to be in vain. I refuse to stay in the dark place. I know that’s what the enemy wants, but my God has already won this fight. From day 1 He has shown me that He is with me – in the most tangible, undeniable, unbelievable ways. That has been the only way I’ve been able to get up out of my bed everyday. Hope is not lost, and He is restoring as we speak.
I am so very appreciative of the outpouring of love & support. I have saved all of your comments, DM’s and messages in a folder on my phone called “encouragement†to look back on when those dark thoughts start to creep in.
This is not MY strength, just like this isn’t my story. It’s Preston’s. He will live on through me forever. I’ll forever be his mommy & he will always be my first born son.
I thank my God every time I remember you.
– Philippians 1:3
